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lunedì 28 settembre 2015

What Hides Behind a Gesture. The study of body language is a science and it must be considered as such.

My name is Davide Balesi, I am a writer and I wrote several handbooks on seduction and on psychology applied to courtship.
I consider myself an expert on interpersonal relationships. My personal background consists of many readings and of four years experience in the dynamics of social relationships among people, especially between men and women.

In the past years my poor knowledge of body language led to disappointing relationships and made me unable to establish good connections with people. How can you seduce a woman if you can’t even understand what she is saying to you? How can you win a negotiation if you can’t even understand which side your interlocutor is on? How can you understand people’s intentions when you are not even sure if they are telling the truth?
If you rest on the meaning of words only, you belong to the 90% of male population, and like this percentage you will never be able to establish empathy with your interlocutors.
I referred to a male percentage because women, for genetic reasons, are better readers of body language. Nature gave women this ability so that they could take care of infants that, by nature, can’t use words to communicate. Women have an innate maternal instinct which allows them to establish empathy with their speakers.

Observing a group of people, a woman could understand the relationships among them in a few minutes. A man couldn’t!
Therefore women, as opposed to men, have an advantage in studying body language!
 Many gestures of body language are universally recognized, which means they are accepted by all cultures and thus they are more meaningful than any spoken word: a smile, for example. Other gestures are typical of a specific culture and they can have different meanings for other cultures, for example the sign of the horns.

The study of body language is a science and it must be considered as such. It’s been several years since worldwide famous psychologists have started classifying body signs and studying their meanings; every psychotherapist or psychiatrist is able to understand his patient thanks to his studies on nonverbal communication.
I wanted to write an easy handbook to help you understand people, and therefore improve your social relationships. To make the subject easier, I decided to gather all the main body signs in four big groups:

Man-woman relationship in seduction
Personal spaces
Closed and denial gestures and behaviours
Positive gestures of openness and honesty
Lie or truth signs
Consideration gestures
Exercises to test your learning

I hope that this partition will make your learning process easier.
Remember that you can easily lie with words but not with body language!
Keep in mind that 90% of communication is nonverbal!
There are facial expressions, vocal variations, posture, unintentional gestures and proxemics. Words often hide the real meaning of a communication.
If you learn to read the meaning of nonverbal language you will also learn to understand yourself better. Have you ever felt uncomfortable in a situation and made a gesture or stroke an attitude unintentionally? You probably wondered about the meaning of your gestures, am I wrong? This handbook will answer all your questions!

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